55 things a Messy Woman can’t live without: Romance writer edition 💝
Manifesting the rom-com renaissance!
Hello lovers! Did you miss us?
In case you forgot, it’s almost Valentine’s Day and with that, we prepared a little list for all the romance lovers/writers out there looking for some inspiration. I’ve personally been rewatching Sex and the City these past few weeks and reflecting on the way we talk, or don’t talk, about romance and sex nowadays.
We all know the classic Hollywood screwball comedies of the 1930s, the height of Nora Ephron reign in the late 80s/90s and of course, the early 00s rom-coms dominated by Katherine Heigl, but since then? Not much.
The rom-com specifically is a genre I lean on every holiday season, on a rainy Sunday, on a hungover Saturday and really anything in-between, but most of these films don’t hold up in 2025 and it can be really painful to watch homophobic remarks just casually being thrown around by the leading couple.
What I’m trying to say is: WE NEED MORE ROM-COMS!
And we need you, our lovely Messies, to write them (so we can make them and cast Dev Patel). Please let yourself be inspired by our list below, read, watch, listen, cry, explore and pour your hearts out onto the page.
For learning:
Scriptnotes, Episode 540: Nice to Meet-Cute You who would we be without mentioning Scriptnotes at least once in our list, and this episode on Meet-Cutes is ultra cute.
Draft Zero, Episode 22: Romantic Comedy, Actually analyses rom-com clichés and how to subvert them.
Rom-Coms Were Corny and Retrograde. Why Do I Miss Them so Much? by
Wesley Morris is a great article on why the rom-com has always been such an essential part of our film library because as a mid-budget genre it focuses on the ordinary while centring women and their desires.
Kiss Me Stupid article by Carlos Valladares looks at the history of romantic comedies and proposes how we can expand the canon.
Mina Le’s ‘Why aren't romcoms "romantic" anymore?’ video essay talks rom-coms from the screwball comedy of the 1930s all the way to 2024 flops.
The Take’s ‘Why Every (Good) Romcom Is Secretly Cinderella, Explained’ video essay looks at how to de-center the romance in your rom-com to focus on your protagonist’s real growth. And maybe the love that comes after.
What We Mean When We Say ‘Happily Ever After’ by Emily Henry the well-known romance novelist shares her thoughts on love after loss.
For watching:
His Girl Friday (1940) written by Charles Lederer is perhaps the most well-known screwball comedy, it’s a damn good classic with physical comedy, verbal banter and eccentric leading couple played by Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell.
When Harry Met Sally… (1989) written by Nora Ephron. This film has been cited as the most influential modern romantic comedy for a reason. This is essential watching.
99 Moons (2022) written by Jan Gassmann is less of a romance and more of a Swiss sex affair gone wrong but we’re here for it.
Palm Springs (2020) written by Andy Siara & Max Barbakow is one of the best rom-coms of the past decade and utilises one of my favourite tropes in rom-coms - magical realism.
Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (2023) written by Christine Doyon & Ariane Louis-Seize is a beautiful genre-bending indie feature which takes a high concept (vampirism) and makes it low-concept (how much are you willing to suffer for the person you love).
The Worst Person in the World (2021) written by Eskil Vogt & Joachim Trier. This is the messy coming-of-age we all dreamed of. No notes.
About Time (2013) written by Richard Curtis is one of the best rom-coms ever made. Ever. And what does it utilise? Say it with me. Magical Realism.
Rye Lane (2023) written by Nathan Bryon & Tom Melia, about two people walking through South London. Simple and stunning. This film made me believe in the rom-com renaissance.
The Taste of Things (2023) written by Anh Hung Tran & Marcel Rouff is a slow-cooked meal of a romance. Highly recommend.
But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) written by Brian Peterson & Jamie Babbit is Natasha Lyonne’s groundbreaking role as a baby lesbian being sent to a rehab camp in the 90s. Hilarious, colourful, gay. What else do you need?
Addams Family Values (1993) written by Charles Addams & Paul Rudnick. I maintain that this is the most romantic film of all time.
Normal People (2020) created by Sally Rooney. The TV show ruined me. I know it's sacrilegious to say, but I think the TV show is better than the book 🫣
10 Things I Hate About You (1999) written by Karen McCullah & Kirsten Smith, especially that scene where Kat reads the poem in class and Heath Ledger just LOOKS at her LONGINGLY.
Sense8 (2015-2018) created by the Wachowski sisters & J. Michael Straczynski was a beautiful shot in the dark; ambitious, queer, moving.
Your Monster (2024) written by Caroline Lindy and Lisa Frankenstein (2024) written by our beloved Diablo Cody are both gloriously twisted, funny, genre films about female desire and agency. This specific genre of films is top-tier for me. Give me more recs!
Fleabag (2016-2019) specifically season 2. The quote “you’re the loss of my life” is about them, I’m convinced.
One Day (2011) the original film OR One Day (2024) the TV series will both break your heart into million pieces. Good luck.
Feel Good (2020-2021) created by Joe Hampson & Mae Martin follows a recovering addict stand-up comedian navigating an intense romantic relationship. This show includes one of the best portrayals of exploring ones gender identity as an already out queer person. Give it a watch.
For listening:
Horny Apocalypse Spotify playlist for some end-of-the-world fun!
My Life Is A Rom (Com?) Spotify playlist for those of us who miss Katherine Heigl every day of the year </3
the record by boygenius album for some lesbian longing.
Javelin by Sufjan Stevens is an album he dedicated to his late partner and you can feel the heartbreak in every song.
For visiting:
The Garden Cinema is a cozy, tucked-away cinema in Holborn with red, velvet seats, amazingly curated programme and lots of accompanying events!
Electric Cinema Portobello is the best date night spot to watch new releases. Book a front row bed (!!), a comfy armchair or a back row sofa with food and cocktails <3
Kenwood House on Hampstead Heath where BBC Pride and Prejudice was filmed, followed by a wander to the pergola gardens.
The cutest all-day walk from Little Venice, through Camden Town, Kings Cross, and Angel, all the way to Broadway Market!
Go see Northern ballet Jane Eyre at Sadler’s Wells this season for the ultimate gothic romance vibes.
Check out Brie Larsen is Elektra at the Duke of York’s Theatre—a funny thing to go and see with your mummy’s boy boyfriend.
For inspiration:
No regRATS fundraiser! The Northern Spotted Owl Breeding Programme is running a fundraiser where until February 13, for a donation of $5 or more, they will name a rat after your ex (or archenemy) and feed it to one of the owls at the breeding program! Use it for your own ex, or just as an inspiration for your writing—either way, donate to owls!
Frida Kahlo’s “Heartbreak” Art “I suffered two grave accidents in my life: one in which a streetcar knocked me down.…The other accident is Diego.”
Letizia Battaglia’s Life, Love and Death in Sicily at The Photographers’ Gallery is a documentary collection spanning decades of Battaglia’s work, from crime scenes to every day life, she points her lens at the love we have lost.
For reading:
You Made a Fool of Death with your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi is a steamy romance about loss, reinvention and lots of sunscreen.
Arrangements in Blue by Amy Key is a beautiful memoir about how to build a life when your romantic dreams haven’t quite come true. Cannot confirm nor deny that I read it with only my cat for company, while ordering myself a dozen red roses and a Lovehoney gift set.
One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston is a hot lesbian romance that uses my favourite trope ✨ magical realism ✨ Casey is my go-to for brilliant queer romance and their Substack is for sure worth a look!
Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter is not a ‘romance’ as such but it is a deeply romantic book (that’s set a lot in and around the film industry/Hollywood) and some editions have a brilliant essay and interview with him in the back that have really informed the way I write and think about love.
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton was revolutionary for me in my very early 20s - it was included in my uni dissertation and in many ways inspired my debut play “Loneliness and Other Adventures” - it helped me to understand my feelings of yearning/sadness about being single at the time.
The Orange and Other Poems by Wendy Cope! Loved every poem in that collection 🍊
Bit of a vintage one (though there was a recent TV adaptation), but I'm a big Nancy Mitford fan, The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate were the first time I encountered kind of 'edgy' romance or like anything that approached love with a bit of a satirical bite, and from a female writer?? Game changing.
Want: Sexual Fantasies written by anonymous, collected by Gillian Anderson is a collection of letters from hundreds of women around the world who share their wildest sexual fantasies. A good reminder to us all that there is no ‘normal’.
Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson is a contemporary classic. This is a love story which explores the most vulnerable parts of identity, race and masculinity, set in South London.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin is less about romantic love and more about navigating the difficult, murky waters of platonic love. This book is about the intimacy of creating something together and the pain that comes with breaking it apart.
Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors is a ride from start to finish following an impulsive marriage with a great cast of supporting characters.
From the Messy Community:
First Kiss (With A Girl) written and directed by Clodagh Chapman is a kitschy, low-fi, bubblegum-sweet glance at queer intimacy.
Rabbit (pw: Rabbit2024!) written by Jessica Mackie Hunter and directed by Jessica Mackie Hunter & David Kreibich follows a young woman on a search to fulfil her other-worldly desires.
Blueprint (pw: blu3pr!nt) written and directed by Lada Kopytova is a reflection on a failed relationship and what being a writer and a muse does to a couple.
Come As You Please (pw: tomatosalad) written by Sean Goddard & Alex Stedman, directed by Shirmaine Ong is a funny, heartfelt story of a robbery in a sex shop.
Comfort Food written by Sandy Nicholson is a romance web-series about a long distance couple who attempt to keep their relationship alive by learning to cook desserts together over the phone.
Hooving In (pw: Hoover) written by Daniel Ward Garber is a short comedy about a couple moving in together, and a jealous hoover.
I sincerely hope you’ll be inspired to write the next great romance and credit us with the push and inspiration that led to it 💋
Love you forever,
The Messy Women xx